Valentine's Day Encore...

Recently, I wrote about a complete lack of dignity in reference to a teenage crush who I am just calling "Don". Though the Mystery Match debacle was most likely the lowest I've EVER stooped to get a guy's attention, this instance can certainly be considered an admirable "runner up". I'll try to be brief...

When I was a sophomore in high school, Don was a junior, which meant that his class was running elections for class president of the following year. It turns out that his best friend was running, and what better way to impress Don than by showing my full support for his buddy? To make matters all the more pathetic, this was AFTER the Mystery Match incident. My blind hope rivaled that of Jim Carrey in Dumb & Dumber after his love interest tells him there's a one in a million chance of them ever getting together and he replies: "So you're saying there's a chance..."

Anyhow, money must have been tight for Don's friend, because he was promoting himself by handing out burger king crowns with his last name scribbled in Sharpie on them. LUCKY FOR ME, I scored one of these crowns and wore it proudly throughout the days of the campaign. I even made sure I had it on when I was leaving my last class, which was across the hall from Don's last class. I just knew that when Don saw me backing his friend in an election that I wasn't even eligible to vote in he would forget about his pending restraining order and run straight into my arms.

My friend Beth, always a sweetheart and forever a saint for putting up with me that year, gave me a heartfelt answer after I asked her how my crown looked.

"It looks good! Well, about as good as a paper crown can look...."

I feel I should also note that Don's friend's last name was "HO". Yes, you have that correct. I wore a Burger King crown with the word "HO" on it. Voluntarily. In hopes of promoting myself as girlfriend material.

I'd like to take this moment to thank my husband, who actually KNEW me in high school, for marrying me anyhow...

")