Life Should Be Cheesy!

I have never considered myself obese and can say with at least 80% confidence that no one else has either. I've also never considered myself middle-aged. However, my last cholesterol test suggested that I was both of those things.

Imagine my complete shock two years ago when my numbers came back QUITE high. Yes, I was eight months pregnant at the time, and that is known to significantly increase one's cholesterol. Not to mention that I was eating pizza just about everyday....

The thing is, my husband and I were applying for life insurance and for some reason those companies don't "adjust" when you're expecting. Or when your height-to-weight ratio suggests that you're "obese." I put that word in quotations because our friend, Patrick, was once told that he was a couple pounds over the limit for his height and therefore in the "obese" category. For the record, Patrick was training for the OLYMPICS at the time and was in what I'd think we'd all call peak physical condition. It wasn't until he literally threatened to run laps around the building until he dropped two pounds that the insurance agent cut him some slack.

Anyhow, my husband has been paying a higher rate for my insurance and we should probably fix that. I have an appointment tomorrow morning and can't eat after midnight (I wanted to ask "What am I, a gremlin?" but have a track record of well-intended jokes falling on deaf ears so I just let it slide).

I guess I'm a tad concerned that my cholesterol is still high and I'll have to (GASP!) cut back on the deliciousness that is cheese. If that's the case, I may have to start a class-action lawsuit (whatever that is) against the CHELMSFORD PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM for making us sing the praises of cheese in a lame, early-nineties fabulous, food-themed pageant. A-HEM: "Dair-y foods are GOUDA for you! Just try 'em and see; brie all you can brie!"

Thanks, Chelmsford. This double-bypass is on YOU.

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